TITLE

dear Zelda

AUTHOR(S)
Zelda
PUB. DATE
March 2014
SOURCE
Daily Mail;3/22/2014, p49
SOURCE TYPE
Newspaper
DOC. TYPE
Article
ABSTRACT
SHOULD I GIVE UP ON OUR SEX LIFE? My wife and I are in our 50s and our children are grown-up. Since the birth of our last child our sex life has been pretty hit and miss and now we rarely have sex. I have been patient for years but now I think she does not enjoy sexual interaction and so I have stopped initiating it. She is uncomfortable talking about sex. She is the only woman I have ever slept with. My confidence is at an all-time low, not helped by the fact that I am not well-endowed, which has always bothered me. We both love each other but I am not sure that platonic love is enough for me. I have been propositioned by younger women but I don't want to be unfaithful. Maybe I just don't give her pleasure. She refuses to go for counselling. Will our love life ever change? That is a long time with little or no love life, but change might be possible. It sounds as though you both had little or no experience of sex when you married. I suspect your wife was rather inhibited and you were hung up over the question of size. One woman wrote to me and said: 'Most men have no idea how to please a woman but refuse to accept their shortcomings.' She added: 'Certainly in my marriage this is a massive problem.' Some men are not good lovers but many are and you can become one. For lovemaking to be really good, it is important for the woman to be able to tell the man what she enjoys and for the man to do the same. She needs to feel loved and happy in the relationship. I suggest you go back to the beginning and start with just touching and kissing. Then over the next few weeks find out what she really enjoys. Many women are not orgasmic on penetration alone, so choose lovemaking positions where you can also caress the clitoris and explore oral sex. To help you talk about all this, both read The Joy of Sex by Alex Comfort and Susan Quilliam and Sex Academy by Dr Pam Spurr. If nothing changes you may not want to continue in the marriage.
ACCESSION #
95038257

 

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