TITLE

DEAR Zelda

PUB. DATE
June 2012
SOURCE
Daily Mail;6/ 2/2012, p55
SOURCE TYPE
Newspaper
DOC. TYPE
Article
ABSTRACT
IS IT WRONG TO SEE HER BOYFRIEND? I have always really fancied my friend's partner and when he called me and suggested that we meet I agreed. It was fantastic and when we kissed it was magic. He is 35, good-looking and sexy. They have been together for four years. He wants to see me again. He is not planning to leave his girlfriend but says he has feelings for me and finds me irresistible. I know it's not right, but I want to see him again so much. As long as my friend doesn't find out, would it really be so wrong? After all, she need never know. I get heartbreaking letters from women who have discovered that their husband or boyfriend is having an affair with their best friend - they are devastated that two people they thought they could trust have betrayed them. But let's look at the likely outlook for you: it's so easy to be caught out - a careless email or text message, being seen out somewhere together. The secret romantic meetings would be fun, the sex exciting, but look at the downside: the endless waiting for snatched moments, weekends alone while you think of them together. What if you fall in love and long for him to leave his girlfriend? What if you pressurised him to leave her and then discovered that you were just an affair? Perhaps not even his first? Could you really do this to a friend? I hope not - it could only end in heartbreak for her and for you. Should you not tell her the truth about her boyfriend? HE WON'T GO ON HOLIDAY The past few years have been particularly tough (I had chemotherapy for cancer) but my husband has refused to come on holidays with me since a trip to Cuba three years ago. Holidays and minibreaks are everything to me - something to work for - and I'm getting really low and desperate. How can I change his mind? You have survived cancer and he is lucky to still have you. . It is uncaring of him to refuse to go on holidays when he knows how much they mean to you. Ask him why he doesn't want to go away and if there is anywhere he would go. Sadly, it sounds like a marriage in trouble and that he has stopped communicating, which is adding to your unhappiness. Talk to him about this and if nothing changes ask him to have joint counselling. If he won't, go on your own. Can you go on holiday with your children or with friends? COLLEAGUES SEEM BITCHY In my new job I work in a female-dominated environment where two of my colleagues indulge in idle chitchat and gossip for most of the day. It's really annoying. Yesterday, when I forgot to enter some data, a female team manager pointed it out. I took it on board and walked away to go and do it. I heard her say, 'I'm such a bully, I will bully her.' I don't know if she was just joking. I would start looking for a new job because it seems you would be happier in a more male-based environment. In the meantime, concentrate on your work, try to switch off from the endless chat and make friends with any colleagues you do like. If anyone starts to bully you then you need to take action. Talk to your line manager or, if they are doing the bullying, their boss. For further help, check out equality.ie.
ACCESSION #
76289473

 

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